remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
