I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
