Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
