they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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