Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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