I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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