I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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