whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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