I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
