she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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