who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are the jesus of drinking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
