Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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