There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
wow bdsm is so cute
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
