Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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