She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
