I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
