Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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