No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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