I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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