why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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