girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize