Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
