He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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