just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
