I bet he comes in French.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
