Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
