whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
