I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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