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either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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