Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
