Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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