So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
