At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
