He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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