Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
false alarm. still invincible.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
