i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
