So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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