i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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