I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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