Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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