all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize