Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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