normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
