Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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