he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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