You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
