I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
