better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
