Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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