Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
