i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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