He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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