Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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