I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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