Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
