I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
