cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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