How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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