So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
