we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
