come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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