Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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