so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
