Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
