i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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